Or Did It Fall Out of My Hand?
First, a little bit of history. I have worked at my job for 2 1/2 years. Most of the people that I work with are 30+. The pay is decent and the work is extremely easy. Therfore a lot of people I work with a lot of people that started working there years and years ago and got roped into staying. A lot of them are stupid and a lot of them are bitter. I got a lot of shit for being a young female working there. I work in the production department of the local newspaper. I help run the machines that get the newspaper out to the thousands of customers. There are lots of different jobs. Depending on your priority (how long you have been working there) you can get different training to do different jobs. I've managed to get training in a few different jobs. I have become friends with some of the bosses. I showed initiative at my job, and have some boss friends that have sort of nudged my name up to their boss to get me new training.
Now, to that which weighs on my mind.
One of the pick-up supervisors is quitting. This Saturday is his last day. They are starting to keep an eye out for possible replacements. I have an inside scoop into what goes on with the bosses (I dated one of them. definently a whole different story). My scoop told me that they were looking for a replacement. So I talked to his boss (with whom I am professionally friendly with) and tactfully pitched my name to be considered for the spot. My scoop informed me that I was being seriously considered.
I wonder why I threw my hat into the ring by pitching my name to the man. Did I do it because I really want the added responsibility? I will still get my hourly wage, I will make a bit more because of overtime, but no actual raise. Did I do it to prove that a young girl can hold a authoritative position in a dominantly male environment? Or did I do it because I'm a work-aholic? Because I constantly have to do more. Did I do it because I'm bored at home and Bear has two jobs, so why can't I? The other people that they are considering are older, male (even though it isn't supposed to be a sexist thing I think it is a little bit), and have more priority than me. I'm not holding my breathe because my chances are so slim. A little girl swimming in a deep world.
Here I sit looking into the ring to see my hat thoughtlessly tipped over amidst the handful of others. Only now do I think about the things that may happen if I actually became a supervisor. It's too late now. My pride and work ethic shorten my arms so I can't quite reach the brim of my hat. So I guess the only thing that I can do is sit back and see what happens next and fret over my decision, whether right or wrong. Fun is fun, and done is done.