Underneath a Panther's Black Fur
So Where is the Storm?
Published on February 20, 2005 By Pantherchic In Blogging
Bear and I have been together off and on for just about four years now. We were never in a serious relationship to have a fight. So we never did. We have been a serious couple now for a year. We have never had a fight. This worries me. I have a bad temper, and it only gets worse when I'm mad. Bear has never seen this side of me. I almost hoped that while we were planning the wedding that we would have some major disagreement about anything just so we could have a fight. He is generally passive. I tend to adapt to the people that I am hanging around, therefore I am generally more passive when I am with him. I am worried that one of these days we are going to have a fight (not a difference in opinion or little tiff) and the whole thing is going to get so blown out of proportion because we have never had a fight before. And everything will be worse than it ultimately needed to be.

My dad and I used to have fights all the time. Everytime I was in trouble, he would come in my room and lecture or yell at me. Most of the time things would pretty much resolve themselves. Occasionally we would have a real fight. Generally I would sit and listen and say "yes" or "no" in all the right places. My dad would get mad because I wasn't giving any input into the situation. I told him I didn't want to say anything because I would get in more trouble. he would retaliate with "quit being a smart ass and let me know you are actually listening to me." That would lead to me spouting off, lots more yelling and ultimately slamming doors and tears.

Q: So, what does all this have to do with me and my husband fighting??

A: Bear and Dad are very similar in many ways. When Bear and I fight I am pretty sure that the scene is going to go scarily the same. I'll be quiet and take whatever he has to say. He'll get more upset because he wants me to say something. Anything. The final results will be very familiar.

The anxiety of this inevitable fight doesn't sit in my head and fester, but occasionally stirs to the surface causing a slight irritation before sinking into the back of my brain again. I just hope that I will be able to use my head during the situation instead of the temper that my mom gave me.

The skies are mostly blue. The seas are calm. Occasionally grey clouds and choppy water have come upon us but we have managed out with nothing more than a few rain sprinkles on our clothes. I just hope that when the skies turn black and the waters rock our little boat that we will be able to make it through unscathed and hold each other tighter because of it.

Comments
on Feb 21, 2005
fights happen, but they are not the end of the world. i think you already have the right idea about how to handle them. try not to worry too much about it.